Empty cupboard, no rent and love betrayal makes for dark times. Gonna go quiet for a while but i leave you with a dance song by Hot Chip that strangely has something to say:

This is a warning
I'll spell it out for you
For you
This is a warning
I'll spell it out for you

Excuse me miss
I'm a dog on heat
I'm a complicated being
With love songs to eat
I'm a poor, starving baby
who can march all night
I'm a mechanical music man
And I'm
Starting a fire

Excuse me sir
I'm lost
I'm looking for a place
where I can get lost
I'm looking for a home
For my malfunctioning being
I'm looking for the mechanical music museum.

THINGS FALL APART

"We will not go quietly into the night" said Blake so powerfully that it echoed through certain parts of my life as a fighter. When i was 17, i stood alone against tough odds. I thought i was an adult then but it was only years later when i realised i couldn't blame the shadows from my past, namely my mother, and be that at the same time. It was an epiphany moment on a Durban pier that made me embrace life, including its mistakes, as my own. I became an adult cause i realised that i was to blame for everything from then on.

More than i decade later, i just experienced 2 months that called every manhood attribute into question. Emotion tore me apart and then grated all the little bits so that i couldn't recognise me. Simulataneously, 5 expected incomes suddenly vanished so that i found myself with nothing...but the most significant loss was my will to get up. I became a funeral celebrating Chinua Achebe's summation, "Things fall apart."

Whereas May and June were amongst my life's greatest nightmares, July desires to be the monster of them all.

For every mood or moment there is a soundtrack:

VIOLENCE OF SANITY - Things Fall Apart
01 SLIPKNOT 7426100027
02 MARILYN MANSON godeatgod
03 DOG FASHION DISCO Dead Virgins Don't Sing
04 MY RUIN Preacher
05 SKINNY PUPPY Punk In Park Zoo's
06 NIN Burn
07 VELVET ACID CHRIST Fuck you Bitch
08 CRADLE OF FILTH End Of Daze
09 A PERFECT CIRCLE Imagine
10 PLACEBO Twenty Years
11 NICK CAVE The Weeping Song
12 TOM WAITS Books Of Moses
13 MARTINA TOPLEY Bird
14 STERLING Untitled
15 RUBY THROAT Consuelas Neut
16 CURSIVE Sink to the Beat
17 ALEXIXISONFIRE You Burn First
18 MATMOS The Struggle Against Unreality
19 HOCICO Ojos Sin Lagrimas
20 SISTERS OF MERCY 1959
21 LIMP BIZKIT The Surrender
22 PENNY RIMBAUD Falling

SMOKE & THE REST OF ME

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE is singing "Mama, we're all gonna die." Maybe not original but that rasping tone feels quite appropriate for this mood where smoke whitens the room after leaving the joint between my lips that's breathing into my brain. Ok, long sentence.

Mons asked about my music lists and, yes, if you think i'm a persausive suggestion for your soundtract them buy them from iTunes, put them in order and, whola, you have a piece of my opinion...which will sound a lot better than its smell.

FETISH just entered the speakers. Michelle Breeze sings, "I want everything a man offers and a goddamn saviour complex...the hue of your soul is a shade of a ghost and I'm a lover of shadows." No, i'm not gay today but i feel the relevance to me and a girl 600kms away...fuckit.

Mmmm...maybe i should delete the emails this gets sent to and see who signs up to read. Creating backlink is dull today. And i am not a dullard.

DROWNING WORDS

Milan Kundera said, "Beauty by mistake." What is life but white on one side and black on the other with mankind inbetween. Kundera also said, "Noise has one advantage. It drowns out words." So i give you a soundtrack of betrayal to dive into. Feel the romance? Thought not.

01 DEPECHE MODE The Things You Said
02 NIRVANA Where Did You Sleep Last Night?
03 BLUE OCTOBER Breakfast After Ten
04 MUNKINPURE Lower (Act 1) (download here)
05 DAVE MATTHEWS BAND The Space Between
06 LIVE Pillar Of Davidson
07 ARCADE FIRE Wake Up
08 KIMYA DAWSON The Beer
09 DRESDEN DOLLS Coin Operated Boy
10 GOMEZ How We Operate
11 BON JOVI I'll Be There For You
12 FRIGHTENED RABBIT My Backwards Walk
13 NEW PORNOGRAPHERS,THE My Rights Versus Yours
14 STARSAILOR Some Of Us
15 FISH Where In The World
16 SNOW PATROL Chasing Cars (acoustic version)

PEOPLE = SHIT

Slipknot said it first but it's mine today!

NIPPLES SCRAPE THE FLOOR

I am dying with life. The irony is as apparent as every day existing too long. This unsettled heart has given birth to grief that burdens me into crawl. Us creative types experience the most when our nipples scrape the floor. I should be proclaiming the Guns 'n Roses cd finally getting a release date or that new Slipknot pics are viralling the net. Instead, i'm fat with Regina Spector's simple line accentuated by silent exclamation, "I loved you first."

Looking to download a cross-genre soundtrack that nevertheless feels alternate? Try this (important to maintain track order for flow's sake):

LIFE - Part 1 - The Saddest Thing

01 DEPECHE MODE Somebody

02 BLUE OCTOBER Amazing

03 CYNDI LAUPER True Colors

04 KIMYA DAWSON Tire Swing

05 CONCRETE BLONDE Everybody Knows

06 KRISTIN HERSH & MICHAEL STIPE Your Ghost

07 REGINA SPEKTOR Samson

08 DRESDEN DOLLS,THE Delilah

09 CHRISTINA AGUILERA Hurt

10 FRAY,THE How To Save A Life

11 FRIGHTENED RABBIT Keep Yourself Warm

12 SKUNK ANANSIE Infidelity (Only You)

13 BONO, LOU REED, PAVAROTTI & MORE Perfect Day

14 NICK CAVE & THE BAD SEEDS Into My Arms

15 DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE I Will Follow You Into the Dark

16 RADIOHEAD Exit Music (For a Film)

17 TORI AMOS Me and a Gun

18 NINE INCH NAILS Something I Can Never Have

WICKED HELLO

Take a head crammed with rock 'n roll that needs to splatter on your screen, my IT guy telling me to create backlinks to my site, some weed, opinions on our violent world, dark poetics and a gross betrayal from a woman called Gummi Girl who i'm still hot for, and you land...here!

I'm Mike. A ton of people call me Wicked. You make the call. Here there's no definition. I will vent, educate, talk to you and talk to myself. It's a shout out from the dark and if you're way too far into the light, you may not hear me.

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!